Monday, November 5, 2007

First Date Key to Success

Many people are nervous when they initially meet someone, but by carefully considering the purpose of the evening, you can easily generate first date ideas and tips to start a new relationship off with a smile.
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Good First Date Ideas

The cliché “dinner and a movie” may be the most common first date idea, but it isn’t necessarily the best. Many people may be uncomfortable eating with a comparative stranger, and sitting together to watch a movie does not let the couple get to know one another enough to gauge whether or not there will be a second date. A first date should let the couple meet, learn about one another in a new way (outside of work, away from school, etc.), and experience a broad enough range of behaviors to discover if they want to meet again. A first date should also provide entertainment to both individuals: something they both enjoy doing. First date ideas for memorable and enjoyable activities include:

* Discovering a sport you both enjoy: biking, swimming, hiking, skating, a baseball game, etc.
* Visiting a local tourist attraction as a couple: museum, art gallery, amusement park, zoo, etc.
* Trying a new activity together that you are both interested in, but have never done.
* Going someplace for casual conversation away from regular companions: a coffee shop, bakery, park, etc.

No matter what you choose, the first date should be relatively stress-free, enabling both parties to relax and enjoy being together without pressure to perform to a particular standard or excel at a particular activity. The whole point of dating is to enjoy one another’s company, and by keeping the event low-key, you are sure to start the relationship on a pleasant note.

Bad First Date Ideas

Most people are naturally stressed when dating someone for the first time, even if they have known each other for years. Therefore, first dates should not be an activity that puts the spotlight on one person or the other. Despite the fact that these ideas may make admirable dates as the relationship progresses, they are not ideal first date ideas:

Avoid these scenerios:

* Dinner and a movie: No time to chat or get to know one another for the majority of the date.
* Meeting respective families: Family members may have expectations that are uncomfortable for the new person, particularly when the relationship is only beginning.
* Private dates in residences or secluded areas: Unless the individuals are well-acquainted prior to dating, it is best to play it safe and keep the first date in public areas.
* Exotic activities that one person knows far better than the other: Unless the inexperienced individual wants to try the new activity, it is best to keep both daters on equal footing to avoid a feeling of inferiority.
* Double- or group-dating: While it may be fun to hang out with friends, if the point is to start a new relationship with a single person the first date shouldn’t involve many other participants.

By avoiding potentially awkward, embarrassing, or dangerous situations, a first date can be an exciting event that will be long-remembered as the relationship grows.

Tips for a First Date

Regardless of the planned time, activities, or venues of a first date, there are certain dos and don’ts to be sure the relationship doesn’t encounter immediate problems.


On a first date, do:

* Be yourself: Hiding secrets about basic things (favorite foods, activities, etc.) from the beginning will only taint the relationship as the other party learns about a person you’re not.
* Be willing to experiment: While it is best to avoid really outrageous ideas on a first date, it is important to be willing to experience things that are important to the other person.
* Keep a safety net available: Take a cell phone and extra money along in case the date doesn’t pan out and you need to find your own way home.


On a first date, don’t:

* Monopolize the date: Share the conversation equally and be willing to ask questions in order to get to know the other person on a deeper level.
* Broach controversial topics: If you feel very strongly about an issue, avoid getting into a potentially vociferous debate about it (religion, politics, war, etc. are usually topics to avoid on a first date).
* Give up after one date: Even if the date doesn’t turn out as expected, remember that it is only the first date. Take any mistakes into consideration to plan an even better second date.

Making It to the Second Date

Hopefully the first date will go smoothly, but at the end of the event it is always necessary to decide how to keep in touch if there will be a second date. Only give out information you are comfortable sharing: telephone numbers, e-mail addresses, and home addresses may be asked for, but if you aren’t at ease with someone else knowing some or all of that information, hold off on providing it. This is particularly important for blind dates, when you may not know anything about the person other than what you’ve learned on a single date.

At the same time, if you do want a second date, be sure to have some way to contact one another. Within a few days after the first date, send a thank-you message (via a quick phone call, brief e-mail, text message, etc.) and express that you had a good time and look forward to getting together again. With a bit of luck and patience, the second date may be followed by a third, fourth, and so on as the relationship grows into a solid friendship or romance that will last a lifetime

LoveToKnow Dating Tips

First Date Key to Success
The key to first date success is comfort. While you may not be able to shake the nerves that come with meeting someone new, you can dress for comfort, so leave those new heels at home, forget the strapless haltertop that keeps you tugging it up all night, and no testing out new hairdos at the last minute. Your focus should be on your date and not worrying about your attire or sore feet.